Letting Time Work!
Regrets come last! And now, i think i have one. Six years ago, i met him under the midday sun of Sept. 26,2001. And from that time, I knew i wanted him to stay. I wanted to call him MINE. I wanted him to want me the way i felt for him. Yes! He did but not the whole of him. After crying over spilled milk, the inevtibale happened. We have to part ways. After four years of waiting, he denied me, not once, but a number of times. And so, with a little pride left, I ventured to an another chapter. He's my first and i think no one can ever win the place he had in me which started to blossom six years ago.
I did find another world. And in this world, I realized that relationships are a trial and error thing. Fairy tales are not meant to last. Love stories end in tragedy. It's a trial and error thing, they say and so I jump from one to another. Maybe, i'm just enjoying my ride, trying to find the perfect blend i can't live without. Singlehood for months becomes impossible because i'm always on a look-out to a fresh start after an ending.
Relationship may start as a usual fling that cotinues to grow. Or it might be the other way around! Sweet nothings that ends with nothing sweet. But anyway, life goes on. My story goes on.
And now, i'm stuck in a commitment i didn't plan. There are still doubts if it's worth hanging on. We have our usual fights over insecurities. One thing i surely know, i can't give him the whole of me like what i did before. A certain part of me was left to the one and only person i wanted so much years back.
But that person had come back again, now that i'm into someone else. He said that i should have waited longer for him. We had the same prayer before (forgive me for being mushy!! well, that was three years ago!!!). That he'll want me the way i want him. and maybe, it came true in the right time.
Regrets are slowly creeping into me. Should i have waited longer for him? My Gahd!!! I've been waiting for years and now that i'm into someone else, he's coming back filled with his own regrets - that he took me for granted before.
now, we've settled to make our beautiful friendship work instead. There are still a lot of time for us. We have our own priorities to fulfill. He says he still has a lot to achieve for himself, a lot of expectations to cope up with. And i also have my own. Time will work out ways for us. Now, he's giving me enough reasons to be strong. For without him, I'll never be who I am now. Before, he was the storm that made me ran for shelter. Now, he's my fortress that shields me from the storm.
He was there when i needed him. I was there when he needed me. In spite and despite of what hapened almost six years ago, no one can ever replace him in me, and I in him. I guess we both have our own share of lesson. Just wait and don't give up!
